Holding On Tight

by Katie on March 6, 2014

I wrap him up in his towel and dry him off. I carefully put his diaper on and put lotion all over his baby soft skin. I slide his pajamas on him as he rubs his eyes and whispers “nigh nigh” over and over. I zip him up into his sleep sack, a comfort to him still at almost two years old, and scoop him up into my arms. My sweet Charlie boy lays his head on my should and I just stand in his room swaying back and forth as I cover him in kisses holding on just a little extra before I gently lay him in his crib with a “I love you Charlie Bear” as I quietly turn off his lamp and pause to look into his crib just one last time before I  leave the room.

Charlie is going to be two in less than 2 weeks and I find myself hanging on to every ounce of babyhood that he has left. I happily let him suck on a pacifier all day long even though I know that he would talk more if I got rid of it. I call him my baby and treat him much differently than I did Drake at this age.

You see with Drake, I knew that someway, somehow there would be another baby someday. We would stop at nothing to grow our family and provide a sibling for Drake. Drake was my first baby and the special boy who made me a Momma, but as I look back, I always treated him as though he was older knowing that he would not always be my baby and preparing him to take on that big brother role.  Sidenote- Read this article about birth order SO fascinating and 100 percent true in my personality as well as Drake’s.

photo (2)With Charlie we are in such a state of unknown on when/if we will expand our family and so I am desperately clinging to all things baby incase this is it…that Charlie is my very last baby.  I know there is life beyond a baby because I’m living it (and absolutely loving it) with Drake, but there is just something so magical and special about having a baby in the house.

So for now I’m going to soak up these last few moments of babyhood with Charlie, knowing that I fully enjoyed and appreciated these last 2 years of having another baby in the house and maybe, just maybe I will be blessed enough to soak all things baby up just  one more time.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Angela Squires March 7, 2014 at 1:44 pm

I love this, Katie. I remember when my twins were approaching two. We knew we wouldn’t be intending to have any more babies, and I was more purposeful than ever in soaking up their babyhood. I allowed myself to call them “babies” until they turned two, at which point I knew I’d have to be willing to turn the page. Like you said, there IS life beyond the baby days, but it’s hard to embrace that when you’re in the midst of giving them up. Keep enjoying this time!

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2 Ame March 14, 2014 at 2:07 pm

This post is so sweet!!! I know exactly what you mean Katie, you couldn’t have said it better!!!
It was so good to spend time with you. I hope we can get together again soon!!
Enjoy celebrating your sweet little Charlie this weekend!!

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