As I said yesterday, this week I’m participating in the SITS Back to Blogging event.
Today’s prompt was to republish a post that you wish more people would have read.
The post I am choosing to share is a post that is near and dear to my heart. A post that I felt really exposed in writing and a post to this day I’m so happy I published. Pretty much nobody was reading my blog when I first published it so I thought it would be a great post to republish. Enjoy!
I thought a lot about if I wanted to share this story since I have not shared this with many people, but after putting some thought into it, I thought if it could help 1 person it was worth it. So here it goes….
I knew that I wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I love babies, had a perfect childhood and had loving parents who made me want to provide the same for my future children.
When B and I got married in 2005 we knew a baby was something that we both really wanted, but decide to enjoy some time alone to travel and just be “us”.
In September 2007 we decided to go ahead and take the plunge and start trying for a baby. As you can guess months went by with nothing happening. I was pretty relaxed about it and had the “it will happen when it is suppose to” attitude.
For couples who are under 35 most doctors will not see you until after you had been trying for a year. When September of 2008 rolled around and there was still no signs of pregnancy, B and I were both ready to take the next step. Unfortunately my insurance did not cover infertility treatment, which can be very expensive. We decided to wait until January 2009 to pursue it any further when I could get covered on B’s insurance.
I knew my time was coming, but it was hard to stay positive as it seemed like everywhere I went I was hearing news of people I knew being pregnant or seeing babies around every corner. The one thing that kept me sane in that of that craziness was telling myself “you don’t know what these people have been through, they could have faced the same hurdles as you”.
We had an appointment scheduled to discuss the infertility on January 6th, 2009. For some strange reason I took a pregnancy test on December 4. I had no reason to believe that I was pregnant, I was not late, I had no symptoms, but I had this feeling that just made me do it. I took a digital test and after about a minute I saw the word PREGNANT. I could not believe my eyes. How could this happen after 16 months of trying and no success?
B was so happy and excited and I will never forget the moment I told him. I was actually surprised my reaction, I was excited but more than that I was scared. I was scared that this was too good to be true, I was scared that it would end in disappointment, I was scared I would have to go through this whole process all over again.
We made out first OB appointment, and ironically enough it was scheduled for January 6th, 2009 the same day I was suppose to be seen by another doctor for infertility. As the days went on I became less scared. Finally, yesterday we were able to hear the heartbeat. I was FINALLY able to totally let go of that scared feelings and just feel pure joy and happiness.
The lessons that I learned from this experience are many. I learned that life does not always work out the way you have it planned. I learned that many things are not in your hands and are dealt with by a higher power. I learned that sometimes the roughest roads can bring you the greatest rewards. I learned to never assume you know what somebody has been going through, because you probably don’t. Most importantly I learned that miracles DO happen!
I still get chills every time I read that! My hope by publishing this again is that somebody, somewhere will know they are not alone in their struggle to have a baby. Miracles happen everyday and miracles can happen to you!